A mother's love
by L'alto
Summary: Lily loved her son from the moment he was born, and that kind of love never dies.


_**A Mother's love**_

Lily Potter loved her son since the moment he was born.

As soon as little Harry Potter opened his brilliant green eyes, so much like hers, under thick black hair exactly like James', Lily's heart melted. In that moment, she knew she would do everything she possibly could to keep her beautiful baby son safe and happy, even though they were at war. She would fight Voldemort herself if it meant that her little boy would be happy.

The first year of Harry's life was spent in bliss. Nothing major had happened on Voldemort's side, except for a few attacks on Muggle towns that were quickly settled by the Order, so Lily and James had plenty of time to take care of their son as he grew up. Lily watched with joy and pride as Harry took his first step, as Harry said his first word (Mama!), as Harry grew his first tooth, and she watched as Harry grew from a young infant to a happy little boy. She watched as Harry ran around the house, babbling happily, and she watched as he zoomed around their backyard on his little toy broom, chortling in joy.

Yes, Lily was happy with her son and her husband, and she allowed herself to believe that it would always be this way, even with the threat of the war looming large over Britain.

Of course, such happy times were not meant to be, and one stormy evening in October, Voldemort himself appeared at their door.

Lily could only take Harry and flee upstairs as Voldemort killed her husband, leaving him dead by the stairs, and she screamed as he appeared at the doorway of Harry's room, placing Harry into his cot and standing in front of him.

As Voldemort raised his wand, and the green light of the Killing Curse sped towards her, she stood her ground, determined to protect her son with her last breath. She closed her eyes...

...and opened them again a few seconds later when nothing happened. She shook her head in wonder. The Killing Curse had hit her, so why was she still alive?

Then she saw the dead body lying on the ground right at her feet and understood.

She watched in fear as Voldemort came closer, still trying to position her body in front of her son, and she screamed as Voldemort raised his wand and whispered the Killing Curse, almost lovingly.

"No!" She placed herself directly in the path of the curse and watched with shock as the curse hit her spectral body, some of it absorbed into herself and some rebounding to hit Voldemort. Voldemort screamed as his body dissolved into nothing, and she could swear that she saw his ghostly spirit glare at her before disappearing into thin air.

She was now left alone in the room with a crying son who couldn't see or hear her and her own dead body on the ground.

Desperately, she tried to stroke Harry's hair, only for her hand to pass right through Harry's head. Harry cried harder still, and Lily felt a tear run down her own face. She had wanted to make sure that Harry was happy for the whole of his life, but now she wasn't even able to comfort him.

At a loss of what to do, she did the first thing she could think of: she started to sing. To her surprise, Harry seemed to be able to hear her, for he calmed down almost immediately. Within minutes, he had fallen asleep, and Lily went downstairs to see if James, too, had somehow come back as...not a ghost, for her body still looked real enough to her, except for the moment it had been hit with the Killing Curse meant for Harry, and both Voldemort and Harry hadn't been able to see her...a spirit, maybe?

She was met with James' dead body lying at the foot of the stairs, with James' spirit nowhere in sight.

She was alone.

 **OoOoO**

Over the next few years, Lily watched as her son grew up with her sister's family. Her heart broke each time she saw Harry sent to the cupboard, and she spent countless days and nights alternating between yelling at her sister and apologising to Harry. Of course, neither of them could hear her, and she could only watch helplessly as her son was abused and mistreated.

She watched countless times as her son cried in his cupboard, calling out for her and James. She hugged him and sang to him each time it happened, trying to ignore the way her arms would pass right through Harry with each little twitch, or the way she couldn't feel Harry at all. This was the only way she could be there for Harry, and so she would do it.

It was only after Harry cried himself to sleep that she would allow herself to cry. Though her son couldn't technically see her, she still didn't want to cry in front of him. She would stay strong in front of him, for his sake.

Every night for eleven years, Lily would also sit beside Harry as he lay in his bed in the cupboard under the stairs, singing the lullabies she used to sing when she was still alive to him. Though she occasionally travelled out to Hogsmeade and Diagon Alley during the day to listen out for any news, she would be at Harry's bedside at ten o'clock each night to sing to him. Harry never gave any sign that he heard her, but every night, in the second before he fell asleep, she could see the smile that graced his features, before it fell away. Perhaps his subconscious realised she was there, and was comforted to know that his mother was still there for him even after her death.

When Harry finally got his Hogwarts letter, Lily was overjoyed. Finally, he could be free of the vile people who were supposed to take care of him! Remus would look after him, she reckoned (Sirius had been put in Azkaban, a fact that angered her greatly, for it hadn't been him behind their deaths!), and he would never have to face the Dursleys ever again.

She followed Harry as he went to Diagon Alley to get his school books, and sat beside him on the train on the way to Hogwarts. She watched as her son made new friends and enemies, and nearly cried with pride when she saw him wear the Hogwarts uniform. She followed him into the Great Hall and beamed as he was Sorted into Gryffindor.

It was weird to be back, she thought to herself, looking around at the Great Hall. The layout of the Hall was still the same, but certain differences were obvious. Of course, the students at the tables had all changed, and she couldn't help but smile when she saw Severus sitting at the teachers' table. The smile quickly turned sad (she had heard that Sev had turned into a spy for Dumbledore...for her, no less!), and she looked back towards the Gryffindor table, only to find herself face to face with Nearly-Headless Nick. As if to confirm the fact that she wasn't a ghost, Nearly-Headless Nick gave no sign that he had seen her, passing straight through her body and leaving her gasping at the coldness that followed his wake.

She stood there, mouth open in shock, for a long while, until the scrape of chairs brought her back to her senses. She followed Harry as he went back to the Gryffindor dorms, and sang to him once again until he fell asleep. She didn't care how old Harry was, she would still sit by his bedside and sing to him every night until he was old and frail and passed away of old age.

It was the least she could do, for being absent from his childhood.

 **OoOoO**

In the next year, Lily watched with growing anxiety as her son did dangerous thing after dangerous thing.

True, some of the stuff he did were necessary, but it didn't mean that she would stop worrying just because of that! And some of the risks he took weren't necessary at all (Really, he didn't need to catch his friend's Remembrall when he practically hadn't ridden a broom before!).

And every night, Lily continued to sit by her son's bedside and sing to him until he fell asleep.

One night, Lily walked beside her son as he wandered the school halls (again), and followed him into what she knew was the Room of Requirement. There was a mirror in the middle of the room, and Lily was quite sure it was the Mirror of Erised Dumbledore had mentioned once or twice before. Excitement started to grow within her: she couldn't wait to find out what her son's deepest desire was. It might help her understand him better.

She stood behind him to get a better view of what Harry was seeing (she herself was dead, so she didn't think the mirror would show her her own desires) and gasped in shock as Harry's eyes met hers in the mirror. Harry whipped around quickly to look behind him, and Lily waved wildly in the hope that maybe, just maybe, her son was finally able to see her.

She couldn't help the disappointment when Harry looked straight past her and turned back around to look into the mirror again.

Harry stretched a trembling hand hand out to the mirror, whispering "Mom" as he did so, and she forced herself to hold back her tears (Of joy or sadness? She didn't know anymore), forced herself to smile at him, as her son looked at her for the first time in ten years.

"Harry." She answered his call, placing a hand on his shoulder, and wasn't entirely surprised when Harry gave no sign that he heard her, turning his head to the left instead.

Lily followed his gaze to see...

"James!" She gasped in shock, but when she turned around, there was no one there.

Sighing, she placed her hand on Harry's shoulder and smiled tearfully when Harry's hand came to rest on top of hers in the mirror.

For the rest of the night, she stood behind Harry and sang to him as he looked in the mirror.

 **OoOoO**

In the next few years, Lily watched and despaired at the things her son had to do.

At the end of Harry's first year at Hogwarts, Lily followed him into the forbidden third floor corridor, and blanched when she saw Voldemort on the back of Quirrell's head. No, she had died to save Harry all those years ago, Voldemort couldn't take his life now. Yelling, she clenched her spectral fingers around Quirrell's neck just as Harry's hand hit Quirrell's face, and he yelled as his skin burnt and blistered.

In second year, she despaired as Harry entered the Chamber of Secrets to save Ginny Weasley, and not for the first time she wondered what Dumbledore and the rest of the teachers was doing. Why was it that the adults, people perfectly capable of killing the monster in the Chamber, were leaving it to a twelve-year old boy?

In third year, she watched with anguish as Sirius escaped Azkaban and was deemed a murderer by the whole Wizarding world, including her own son, and watched with joy as Harry was finally reunited with his godfather.

In fourth year, she reproached herself for being unable to be there for Harry as he completed dangerous task after dangerous task, and watched with horror as her son was transported to a graveyard and was forced to give up his blood to resurrect Voldemort. She watched as a ghostly figure of herself and James emerged from the connection between Voldemort and Harry's wands, and mourned the fact that this was the closest she would ever get to seeing James again, while simultaneously being terrified for Harry.

In fifth year, she cried out in anguish as Sirius fell through the veil, and though she kept an eye out for his spirit, she knew deep in her heart that he wouldn't come back like she had. She had died to save her son, and it was this connection that now anchored her to the world of the living: Sirius and James had no such anchor, and so they could not come back. She worried as Harry grieved for his godfather, the only parental figure he had ever known, and cried for the fact that Harry would never get to know her or James.

In sixth year, she followed Harry to retrieve the Horcrux, and despaired as Dumbledore, the leader of the Order and the light side, fell over the edge of the Astronomy tower and left their world. Without their leader, how was the Order going to win? How was _Harry_ going to win? How was Harry going to _survive?_

In seventh year, she followed Harry and his friends on their Horcrux hunt, nearly dying (again) of shock at some of the dangers they were in. As they reentered Hogwarts and the final battle began in earnest, she knew that she had to do something. For the past seventeen years, the only thing she had been able to do was to watch, and so she had watched over Harry as best as she could when she was physically unable to do anything to help him. Now, though, it was time to act.

As Harry walked into the Forbidden Forest to meet his own death, turning the Resurrection Stone in his hand as he did so, she felt James, Sirius and Remus appear around her, and she saw her son's eyes land on her for the second time in her life. As Harry dropped the stone and went to meet Voldemort, she felt herself remain even as the others faded, and when Voldemort raised his wand at her son, she screamed and acted without thinking.

"No!"

She reached Harry just as Voldemort cast the Killing Curse, and for the second time the curse hit her body, most of the light hitting her and only some managing to get through to Harry. For a moment, she stood horrified over her son's unmoving body, hoping that she hadn't failed to save him. But as she sank to the floor and knelt weeping over Harry, she suddenly saw the way his chest hitched and started moving up and down again, and she couldn't help but laugh in joy.

He was alive.

 **OoOoO**

Later on, after Voldemort fell, she followed Harry back to his dorm, where he collapsed face-down onto his bed. She sat beside him, stroking his hair and singing to him as she always did, comforting him in the only way she knew how.

To her surprise, Harry sat up and smiled in her direction. She glanced behind her in case he was looking at someone else, and turned back to stare at her son when she saw that there was no one there. This could only mean that Harry was looking at...

"Hi, Mum." Lily couldn't help the tears that fell down her face as she heard her son talk to her for the first time in sixteen years.

"You can see me?" She whispered, and Harry's smile grew brighter.

"I guess some part of me always knew you were there, although I was only able to see you after the battle. When Voldemort cast the Killing Curse in the forest, I saw the moment it hit you. The air in front of me was suddenly filled with your ghostly silhouette, and in the moment before the rest of it hit me I thought I was dreaming. But then I went to King's Cross Station and Dumbledore told me that you were real, that everyone in the afterlife hadn't seen you and were wondering where you were, and it was Dumbledore who speculated that you were still here protecting me, and he was right. After I came back I could see you, but I had to kill Voldemort before I could talk to you in peace." Harry said happily.

Lily smiled tearfully at her son, who smiled back at her and really _looked_ at her for the first time in sixteen years, and put her arms around him in the closest thing she could come to a hug. The bittersweet reunion she hadn't dared to hope for had finally happened, and she couldn't ask for more.

 **OoOoO**

Years after the battle, Lily still sits beside her son and sings to him before he goes to sleep, even after Harry reached her age and bypassed it, becoming older than she was. His friends still keep asking him why he tends to speak to thin air sometimes, and she can see that they don't fully believe him when he says that he is talking to his mother. She's not a ghost, or we would be able to see her, they would say, and Harry would just shrug his shoulders and smile at them. They probably think he's gone a bit mental after the war, Lily thinks fondly.

But that's not important to her. What is important is that she has the rest of Harry's life to make up for the childhood that she has missed and he has lost, and she intends to be there for her son for the rest of his life.

 _Fin._


End file.
